Safe Sex Guide

A practical, inclusive guide to safer sex, STI protection, and sexual health awareness

Being sexually active is a normal part of life, and so is taking steps to protect yourself and your sexual partners. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, casually dating, or exploring intimacy for the first time, practising safe sex is one of the best ways to protect your physical health, mental wellbeing, and the people you connect with.

This safe sex guide covers the essentials: what safe sex means, how to reduce your risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), where to find support, and how to communicate openly about sexual health and consent.

What does safe sex mean?

Safe sex involves using methods that lower the risk of spreading sexually transmissible infections, prevent unplanned pregnancy, and respect personal boundaries. It often includes using barrier protection during vaginal sex, anal sex, and oral sex, regular sexual health checks, and having clear, honest conversations with your sexual partner(s).

It’s important to know that while safe sex reduces risk, not all STIs are completely preventable. Some infections can spread through skin-to-skin contact, even when condoms or dental dams are used. But by taking smart precautions, you significantly lower your chances of passing on or contracting an infection through unsafe sex.

Get a sexual health test regularly

If you’re sexually active, you should get a sexual health test at least once a year — more often if you have new or multiple sexual partners, or if you’ve had unprotected sex.

Usual STI screenings typically include one or more of the following:

A urine test
Blood tests for HIV, syphilis, and hepatitis B
Swabs from the throat, vagina, or rectum depending on the types of sex you’ve had

Testing is quick, confidential, and gives you peace of mind. If a sexually transmitted infection is diagnosed, you’ll be given treatment and advice on how to notify your partners safely and discreetly.

How to practice safe sex

Use contraception and physical barriers

Using male condoms, internal condoms, latex-free condoms, dental dams, or diaphragms helps reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections and can also help prevent unintended pregnancy.

Condoms and dams provide a physical barrier that protects against bodily fluids like semen, vaginal fluids, and blood. These body fluids can carry infections such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea, HIV, and more.

Make sure to:

Use new protection for every sexual partner and every sexual act
Store them in a cool, dry place (not in your wallet or glovebox)
Check the expiry date
Use water-based or silicone-based lube (oil-based lube can weaken latex)

If a condom breaks during sex or you’re unsure whether protection was used correctly, follow up with a sexual health check or talk to your healthcare provider about the emergency contraceptive pill if an unplanned pregnancy is a concern.

Practise safe oral sex

While oral sex is often seen as lower risk, it can still transmit infections like chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhoea, and syphilis — especially when there’s direct contact with bodily fluids or a partner’s genitals.

To reduce the risk:

Use dental dams for vaginal or anal contact
Use condoms on a penis
Avoid oral sex if either person has cuts, ulcers, or cold sores
Avoid sexual contact if you have a sore throat or visible symptoms

Even if symptoms aren’t present, infections can still be passed on. Regular STI screenings help ensure you stay in control of your sexual health.

Know your HIV prevention options

In addition to condoms, HIV prevention includes options like:

PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) — a daily pill that reduces the risk of HIV for people at high risk
PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) — a 28-day course of medication that must be started within 72 hours of the potential HIV exposure

If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV, seek immediate advice from a sexual health clinic or hospital.

What about sex toys?

If you’re using sex toys during solo or partnered sex, remember to:

Clean/disinfect toys thoroughly between uses
Use a condom on the toy, especially if sharing between partners
Avoid switching between anal and vaginal use without cleaning or replacing the barrier
Use appropriate lubrication for the toy to prevent injured tissue – as this can increase the risk of contracting an STI

STIs like herpes, HPV, and chlamydia can be passed through contact with contaminated toys. Use protection, and treat sex toys the same way you would any other form of sexual contact.

What to do after unprotected sex

If you’ve had unprotected sex, don’t panic. You still have options.

Steps to take:

Get tested for STIs within a few days

Use the emergency contraceptive pill if there’s a chance of pregnancy (effective up to 5 days)

Monitor for symptoms like unusual discharge, itching, or pain – these can sometimes take up to 2 weeks to become evident
Avoid further sexual activity until you’ve been checked and cleared

If a sexually transmitted infection is detected, follow your healthcare provider’s treatment plan and let your sexual partners know. You may also consider using an anonymous notification tool if a direct conversation isn’t possible.

Always ensure clear and ongoing consent

What is consent?

Consent is essential in any sexual activity. It should be:

Reversible at any time
Freely given
Informed (you know what you’re agreeing to)
Enthusiastic
Specific to each act

Consent isn’t just a one-time question — it’s an ongoing process. You can say yes at first and then change your mind at any time. You can also give consent to one activity but not another. Respect your partner’s boundaries, and expect them to do the same for you.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, please seek support from your GP, local sexual health clinic, or a dedicated support service.

Communicate openly with your sexual partner

Before engaging in any type of sexual activity, it’s important to talk about things like:

Whether you both want to have sex
What types of sexual activities feel safe and comfortable
When you both last had a sexual health check
How to use birth control or barrier protection
Who will bring or purchase condoms or dental dams

Even if these conversations feel awkward at first, they’re crucial to building trust and keeping both of you protected. Healthy communication enhances sexual pleasure, creates mutual respect, and helps you make informed choices.

How to practice safe sex with new or casual partners

It’s okay to be spontaneous, but always prioritise safety. If you’re planning to hook up with someone new:

Let a friend know where you’ll be

Discuss contraception and STI testing

Bring your own condoms, dental dams, or lube

Don’t be afraid to ask about their sexual health status

Remember, even if you’ve made plans, it’s also okay to avoid sexual contact entirely if something doesn’t feel right. You always have the right to change your mind.

Respect and inclusion in sexual health

Everyone deserves access to accurate information and non-judgmental care — no matter your gender, sexuality, or relationship style. Many clinics are inclusive and welcoming to LGBTQIA+ individuals, and tools like DocLIST can help you find providers recommended by queer communities.

If you’re unsure where to go, a sexual health clinic is a great place to start. They can offer free or low-cost testing, contraception advice, and confidential support.

Take care of yourself — and your partners

Whether it’s your first time or your hundredth, practising safe sex is one of the most important things you can do to protect your body and your future.

Prioritise consent. Use protection. Communicate openly. Get tested. And always look after your sexual health — it’s an essential part of your overall health and wellbeing.